Ranking Post Malone’s Albums Worst to Best
6. TWELVE CARAT TOOTHACHE-5.2/10
I'd like to say this first before we delve into these Mr. Malone here I'd like to make it clear that I don't think this or any albums of his are bad. However, something has to go last and this one is the least remarkable of the four. There isn't necessarily anything bad on this album, but I would personally state that there is only one great song. That would be the beautiful record called Lemon Tree which goes against his usual hit formula and gets back to the slow and hopeful tunes. You could say the same for Euthanasia, Reputation, or Love/Hate Letter to Alcohol, but even those don't stand out. Everything else on the album is basic pop stuff with catchy choruses that aren't hurtful but don't have much depth to them. Therefore, this belongs at four.
5. AUSTIN-6/10
After his first “dud” of an album above, we have the uneven work in AUSTIN that doesn't really seem to know what it is. It is somewhat of a send off to his old music and also an intro into his new upbeat groovy country vibe. He also sneaks in a lot of slow, generic music here and everything tends to be for better or for worse. While there aren’t any classics here, there is more consistency in the quality than his last effort keeping it second to last.
4. F-1 TRILLION-6.9/10
Post Malone’s foray into the county genre gets turnt up to 11 here. With an embarrassment of riches in features (Morgan wallen, Luke Combs, Blake Shelton), Post Malone does his best to keep up with them and for the most part does. All of these collars bring so much energy to the table that is infectious and catchy. While this could have been just some radio and commercial music like “I had some help" - Post brings out his intimate side that we have grown to love in his solo tracks that balance out the project beautifully.
3. STONEY-7.5/10
You could make an argument for Stoney to be moved up a slot for sure, but here's what I'm thinking. There is a clear divide in this album in quality. I mean it is split right down the middle of the 18 songs, with there being half amazing and half incredibly bland and boring. Of course, I'm referring to the first classics that he dropped (Congratulations, White Iverson) and then the songs that you wouldn't believe are Post Malone songs like Big Lie, Please Don't Go, Patient, and Up There. One of those songs isn't even his and I bet you didn't bat an eye. Luckily though, due to the fact that this album stands out more than Twelve Carat Toothache and has more range than it, the original surpasses his latest release.
2. HOLLYWOOD’S BLEEDING-8.25/10
Hollywood's Bleeding is a weird one to talk about. Not a wild amount of songs on this track are crazy popular today besides Circles and Sunflower, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a song that you don't vibe to whether or not you know the name. It has tons of replay value thanks to more features to give Posty a break that the previous two projects don't do well enough. I mean everyone in this project kills it top to bottom from SZA to Swae Lee to Ozzy Osborne??? Everything is funky in this album and it just clicks thanks to Post's infectious energy that he brings to it. Not much to complain about here, but it's not the best thing he's put out thanks to what he did a couple of years prior.
BEERBONG’S AND BENTLEY’S-10/10
This is an all-timer. Beerbong's and Bentley's should go down as Post Malone's claim to fame unless he somehow finds the same magic recipe he used to create this puppy. If Stoney put him on the scene, this one cemented his place at the top for years to come. First of all, it has the coolest album title of the four and that's saying something! It might have the best cover art too. I haven't even gotten to the music yet. He goes 18/18 on this album and I still feel like that undersells it. It perfectly encapsulates everything Post Malone is and what his music is about. That would be that he is a rockstar with a wild lifestyle who's actually tender and has incredibly catchy lyrics. If you want a slow song, there's gold like Stay or Otherside. You want a chart-topper? How about Better Now or Rockstar. You want a headbanger? Take Over Now or Takin' Shots. Overall, one of the few albums that would get a perfect score from me, and I hope everyone gives this a listen if they haven't.
